The view we have of ourselves, the way we think other people view us and how other people view us are three completely different things. I spend a lot of time in my own head thinking and nearly melting my brain trying to work these three out.
How I view myself?
I am not a big fan of me, never have been, I always wish I was somebody else. I am constantly trying to please and be liked and when I am not I get upset. I hurt the people closest to me on purpose to keep them at a safe distance, I don’t mean a lot of the things I do, sometimes I get frustrated and it is always easier to take it out on those who are closest. I think I can make a lot of improvements to myself but even when i achieve my goals I am not happy, I will find a flaw. I have little or no self esteem and will let people take advantage of me, thinking that they will like me. I do not share my problems to often for fear people will get fed up and drop me so I continue to harm physically and mentally.
How I think people view me?
With pity, if I share to much, I feel they really don’t want to know. They know if they ask me to do something for them I will do it no questions asked. They have no interest in me, they are only out to get what they want and will drop me as soon as they do. I am the life and soul of the party, I will entertain and make them laugh even if I am dying on the inside.  I will do anything they want and expect nothing in return.
How People view me?
I would like to think I am a likable person, fun to be with but I am not other people so I don’t know.